That awkward moment when you wake up from your sleep to look at the time, and it is 2am – and thanks to loadsheeding, you find the lights still on – your heart is beating so fast it is as if you had just run a 500km marathon – God knows where.
All this is because you’ve just had a dream.
This is one hell of a dream in which you had a conversation – a very deep and serious one, one in which you even held hands with the person concerned – a departed one, telling the person how much you love them, the second time this time (because the first time you recall telling the person this was that time before you lost them because this moment feels like a second chance where you are now trying to make up for anything that may not have been done and or said the first time before you lost the person).
The mood is jovial, friendly, and some other crazy things are happening too.
Earlier, you had a dream in which lightening were shining like crazy on your and sister’s feet, you were from the bush carrying woods, and you left them along thh way, running for your lives. When you got home, you found Mma waiting outside for you, sick and worried and hoping that wherever you are, you are alive. She was happy to see ya’ll.
Strangely, in the second dream, you tell the person concerned that you want to talk about something serious that concerns the person. Because it is the early hours of Sunday at that time – around 4am – you tell the person that you also intend to cook a feast (big meal) of their choice after this conversation (also because you want to make up for anything that you feel you did not do and or say previously).
At the time same time, the dream feels like a second chance with the departed and you are now trying to make up for anything unsaid or undone, and start something anew worth remembering with the person.
Out of the blue, the person’s friend walk into the bedroom upstairs where you and the person, and another cousin of yours are sitting having this conversation – and this time you are pissed, wondering who could be budging into the bedroom without first knowing –and later relates his story to the three of you: the story is that he has dementia which rendered him useless, he said, such that he could not even recognise people around him at the time. He is saying this because he was later, upon feeling better, told that the person you had a conversation earlier with had visited him but the friend could not recognise that person. So the person was trying to explain that it was not out of his own will that he did not recognise the person’s visit but it was because of this medical condition he has, and he was therefore apologising for this.
Early, when you were in a conversation with this person, you were laying on your back, on a sponge of the flow, while you holding the person’s hands from the bed. And you were happy.
The TV was on, playing at the background.
You do not even recall why at that time that friend could have been coming from.
This was in a big double-storey house.
Even funnier, the person you were having a conversation with, had just walked through the window, and fortunately you were not asleep due to having watched TV almost the whole night through to the morning and you helped the person come in through the window into that bedroom upstairs nogal. It is a dream, a lot of some unthinkable things are happening.
But the conversation you had with this person sounded and seem real that if you could do it again, you would.
Last night, before the dream, you called home, telling Mma that you are coming home and she was excited for the last time she saw you was during Good Friday holidays that year.
The person you had this conversation with in your dream was you late Mother.
Waking up, remembering this dream and everything that happening in it – and taking into account that later that very morning you will be catching a taxi home – you then wonder if your excitement to be going home is not playing games with you…
Or that if you believe in dreams and their significance, if any, you wonder whether you had missed you late Mother so much that you think she missed you too and visited you that night knowing that you are going home to see your family…
Or you wonder whether this dream means something other than the two scenarios described above…
Whatever it means, and its significance, if any, it was a good dream, one in which you are however convinced that you had a conversation – a serious and real one – with the departed loved one, your Mother. And a dream it was.
Note: Following this dream, I woke up trying to write this as my Facebook status but my phone battery died. I then thought it best to get my ass up, and write this as a blog entry. This was to capture that moment, those emotions at that time while they are still fresh.